bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
