I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
