Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
