Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
