I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
