wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
