paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
