I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
