I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
