when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
