there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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