I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
