I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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