I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
