i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
