We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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