i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
