when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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