even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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