I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
