You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
