am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
