Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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