When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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