I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
