its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
