His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
