don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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