Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
