dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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