Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
