Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
