they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
