Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
