Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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