Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
