The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
