I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
