3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
