isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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