first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize