I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
