Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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