at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
4 words: hood of his car
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
