I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
