judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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