The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
