oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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