whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The beer is more important than you right now.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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