im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
