It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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