Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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