Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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