i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
