last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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