We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize