Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
