People with herpes should wear stickers.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
