I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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