Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
