just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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