Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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