Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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