My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize